1 Samuel 23- The Friendship of God

God is constantly sending things in our life. And in this case we want to notice how he sends people to come to us when we're in our own personal wilderness(es). This Scriptures open our eyes to the friendship that we truly need to stay strong in the Lord in this life.

Transcript

13 So David and his men, about six hundred in number, left Keilah and kept moving from place to place. When Saul was told that David had escaped from Keilah, he did not go there. 14 David stayed in the wilderness strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands. 15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” 18 The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

The Jonathan of the Bible is frankly amazing. Before David ever took on the Philistines all by himself Jonathan did it. Before David ever led the Lord’s armies to victory, Jonathan did it. Before the scriptures ever lauded the faith of David, they lauded the faith of Jonathan. Did you know that’s why David and Jonathan became friends? Jonathan and David became friends after David killed Goliath. Jonathan watched David put his complete trust in the Lord and he said to himself- there is someone whose heart is like mine- whose heart is for the Lord. I hope you see this today- that true biblical friendship is a different than any other friendship. Because biblical friendship is not based on blood or a football team, or a hobby, or a common age, or any other commonality. True friendship is bound in faith in the Lord. That’s why David and Jonathan loved each other- because they saw true faith in the Lord in each other. It was a friendship that was born right there in adversity and for adversity. Because along with the rise of their friendship also came the anger of Jonathan’s father Saul. David killed Goliath and was anointed as Israel’s true king. And so Saul tried to kill David a lot of times. Sometimes he did it on a whim of rage, sometimes he planned it out, but he was out for David’s blood. For years, he was after David. Here, in this chapter that we just read, David is on the run, and Saul is on a manhunt to find him- he’s out with his armies and the FBI and the bloodhounds. That’s what Saul is doing. He’s bringing the whole of his power as king to bear trying to hunt David down and kill him. David was always on the run. Always only running for his life.

The NIV gives us a sense of how intense this was. We’re told this: Day after day Saul searched for him. I point this out, so that you can understand David’s psychological state. Can you imagine David’s reality- going to sleep at night knowing that he might not wake up. Then waking up in the morning desperately scanning the horizon checking to see if he’s been found. Having to survive without a fire because if he gives himself that luxury, Saul and his spies will see it and he’ll be caught. Always hunted, always on the run, never able to feel safe. That’s the kind of stress that David has going on in his life. The narrator makes sure that we know that. He says: David lived in the wilderness strongholds and then he lived in the hills in the desert of Ziph. This means that David had to flee strongholds. Strongholds are supposed to be safe places! Not for David. The places that should have been safe- they weren’t safe for David. Nothing was safe for him. Nothing. That’s the kind of awful and insecure wilderness life that David had going on here. Dealing with the realization that the things that you thought would keep you safe no longer do. You have to run from them. That’s what you’ve got here. You’ve got this extended moment where anxiety and fear is constantly over your head and the thing you need most is just one unchanging loyal solid thing in your life. And then for David, Jonathan comes in. And not just Jonathan. It's Saul’s son Jonathan. Jonathan- who has to choose his friend or his father. And Jonathan chooses David. And that’s beautiful. 

You can disagree with me, but I don’t think there’s anything much more beautiful in this life than to have someone choose you when they really shouldn’t. Somebody who pursues you when it’s going to cost them. In fact I’ll suggest to you that in modern America today, this is exactly what we’re missing. True friends. Maybe you didn’t know this- this is something that I learned during my research for my paper at our seminary- I learned that the surgeon general of the US back in 2019 said that the most prevalent health threat facing the country is not heart disease or obesity or diabetes but instead this is America’s greatest medical threat- it’s social isolation. He said it's literally killing us. And this is before COVID ya’ll. It hasn’t gotten any better since then. God built us to be people who need relationships, and right now we’re dying for faithful and faith-filled relationships.

I was thinking about this concept and it reminded me of a conversation I had back during my internship year. I was talking with some of the school staff, having this goofy conversation about who would be your first phone call if you ever got arrested. Who would you call to help you and comfort you and get you out of jail? It was kinda a fun conversation. Your parents? Your spouse? Your friend? Then the pastor walked into the room, and shut everybody down with his seriousness and said- call me. I’ll be there for you. See, that’s loyalty and friendship and unconditional love. Just so we’re clear, I’m not encouraging anybody to test this out. I’m just pointing out that true friendship means that you’re willing to be in a place that isn’t good for you, that you’re willing to pursue someone at great personal cost in order to love the other person. That’s what we’ve got here. Jonathan pursued David even though it cost him. It cost him a lot. The Bible records that when his father Saul found out about David and Jonathan’s friendship, Saul renamed his son. He called him a son of a… and yes you filled that in correctly, this is not a g rated account in the Bible. And then Saul threw a spear at his own son. Jonathan pursued David even though it caused a lot of suffering in his own life. That’s a little bit more than the modern American version of friendship where friends are nice when you have time for them, or when you need to blow off some steam. A true biblical friend is one who pursues you for God’s sake even when it’ll cost them.  

Ooh that’s a high bar! True friendship. Friendship in God that pursues only the other. I feel the weight of that. I see the ways I’ve fallen short. I see the times that I’ve chosen to make my life easier and simpler rather than being there for my friends. I’ve chosen comfort over somebody else’s mess. I can see how my relationships have been contextualized conditional, how I’ve looked at my relationships with a cost benefit analysis- trying to decide whether or not the relationship is worth the work. I know the times that I’ve put up boundaries whether intentionally or not in order to keep myself emotionally safe. I feel the weight of that. I imagine you can too.  

That’s why we need to see what God is doing for us in this text. The narrator is so brilliant about showing it to us here. He said day after day Saul searched for David, but God did not give David into his hands. See Saul couldn’t find David. Why not? God wouldn’t let him. But Jonathan does find David. And he didn’t have to hire a PI or sleuth him out. Jonathan just found him. And the implication couldn’t be clearer. Saul could not find Jonathan for the love of God, and that’s exactly why Jonathan did. Jonathan was God sent. Jonathan was sent by God right to David’s heart. That’s one of my favorite things about true biblical friendship. This wasn’t one of those things where Jonathan woke up one day and decided he wanted to hang out with his buddy. That’s companionship, not friendship. Friendship is when you pursue someone in their mess. Jonathan went to David precisely because it wasn’t going to be fun. He went because David was going to be a wreck. He went to encourage his friend. And now we’re getting to the climax of this story. When Jonathan found David, this is what he said: Everything’s going to be ok. Now I wanna drill down on this. It is a bad idea to tell somebody that it’s going to be ok if you don’t believe that it will be ok. If you tell your friend that everything is going to be ok and you know it’s not, all you’re really doing is lying to them. But Jonathan showed up for David and told him this- everything is going to be ok. Don’t be afraid. David, yours will be the kingdom. He said it, because he knew it was going to be true, because God said it was going to be true and he had faith in God. And that faith in God is what had bound them in friendship in the first place. They believed together in the friendship of God. That’s what you need to know. That’s what’s here. The friendship of God. 

Now here’s where I want to help bring this home for you. There are going to be times in life. Maybe you’ve been there, maybe you’re there right now when all the things that you thought would keep you safe- you’re going to find out that they’re not safe at all- money, friends, family, they’ve all deserted you. You’re going to have a time in your life when all of that happens. When that happens, there is just one thing that you need. Just one thing. You need friendship. You need somebody who’s going to chase you down into the wilderness of your own life and tell you that everything is going to be ok. You need somebody who’s going to do more for you than have fun with you. You need somebody who’s going to come into your life and pursue you even if it costs them. That’s what you need in your life. You need a friend. And what I’m here to tell you today is that you not only need that, but you have that. Jonathan was the crown prince of Israel. Did you know that there’s a prince of Israel still today? One who has pursued you into the wilderness of your own life? One who came to get you out of jail at great personal cost to himself? Did you know that there is one who has said- no matter what, I will be there for you? One who has said about you- I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. And I’m telling you, everything will be ok. Do you know who that is? You know who your true friend is? It’s Jesus. Jesus is your friend who says don’t be afraid- yours will be the kingdom. You will sit at my right hand in the kingdom of God. That’s what he says to you. Not as a pathetic platitude or a vicious lie, but as the gospel truth that’s built on the life and the death and the resurrection of Jesus. 

My friends have saved my life. My friends have forgiven me when I’ve sinned. They have comforted me when I’m scared. They’ve talked me out of skepticism. My friends have pursued me when there was nothing to pursue. My friends have showed me and told me about the friendship of God. The true crown prince of Israel who pursues us all. My friends have showed me the Jesus who has been my perfect friend. My friends have been a Jonathan to me so that here in this moment I get to be a true Jonathan to you. TO tell you when you are in the wilderness of your own life, everything is going to be ok. And I’m saying that because I know it’s true. Because Jesus Christ has risen from the dead and he has said that you will too. And I’m telling you that everything will be so much more than ok so that your faith is strengthened and you trust in the friendship of your God.